Learning humility, slowly…

A bit of history first, about my books of course, Surviving Higgins World began as a joint project with my son, Charlie. I raised my children to be readers, just as I was. Books were just part of our lives. As the five of them grew, one regular summer excursion was a biweekly trip to the Austin Public Library. We would load up the 12-passenger van and head to our first stop, the library. Each child could get five books. They would range from fantasy and science fiction to non-fiction to simple, mostly picture books for the two youngest. We would then head to a pizza chain that said children under 8 could eat free at their lunch time pizza buffet. After several visits, the manager approached me with a compliment for my children’s behavior, but we were not really welcome anymore. He could not afford the way they cleaned out the salad bar. I was a bit taken aback but understood. They loved fresh vegetables, and yes, they ate all they took. Since school started soon, it was not a great loss.

In their teen years, my sons, David and Charlie, read some of the same books I did, science fiction and fantasy. One summer after he graduated from high school, Charlie and I read the same series of fantasy books and both of us were a bit disgusted with the premise of the author. The magical ability of the witches in this world was only available to women who were virgins. As a result, the men who wanted the power they had over the governing of the land began a war and raped every woman they could find.

Charlie was in his late teens and sexually active by his own admission. (As a mom, I often got entirely more information about my son’s life than I wanted.) He found the main line of the story stupid and written by a man who did not understand about the physical mechanics of sex or woman’s bodies. We talked about it, and he suggested we write a book where having a first sexual experience would trigger the magic. Thus in 2001 began what I called Sarita of Sparkle.

As we cowrote, I discovered while his poetry and narrative were lyrical, his dialog was stilted and dissonant. We agreed that he would do descriptions and narratives, and I would write the dialog. He went on with his life, serving three years in the US Navy as a machinist, then working as a roadie for traveling musicians. We tossed the story and writing back and forth but I was in graduate school, and he was suffering from a long-ago diagnosis. Charlie was bipolar. Because the VA was overloaded at the time, and his work was all contract, he did not have medical insurance. The help he needed did not come and in May 2009, he hung himself in the backyard of our home.

The loss of my son caused me to put the book away. In 2018, a group of friends began gathering at Sententia Vera in Dripping Springs to support each other as Emerging Writers. I read to them some of what Charlie and I had done, and they encouraged me to finish the story.

I reviewed what we had written and began redoing it. I was no longer teaching part time at Texas State and then, Covid. The quarantine gave me an excuse to stay in my office and write. I managed to do over 150,000 words in the first draft. I knew it needed help so as a birthday present, my children paid for a developmental editor to help me out. He read parts, gave advice, and I edited it down to about 90,000. He said it needed to be smaller if I was going to sell it. I argued that I would be skeptical of an agent who considered a first novel from an 80-year-old woman. I went with self-publication on Amazon.

Several friends bought copies of Surviving Higgins World: Change is the Only Option. The comments were, it was a good story, but hard to read. I pulled the content down and rearranged the story. I did not change the main complaint; it had far too many named people in it.

I was hard at work on book two Surviving Higgins World: Change or Chaos? After help from a good friend who edited the book, it too is self-published on Amazon. So far, hardly anyone has bothered to read it, but those who have, had the same reaction. In fact, my good friend said she loved the story but would have never finished it if it had not been my book. There were too many named people in the book.

So, while both books are available to you through Amazon and my web page, the books are being rewritten. We’ll see if I live long enough to really survive this lesson in humility. But people do love the story and want to know how it comes out, sigh.